*puts on blow by beyonce*
"make sure you clean that, it’s the only way to get the….
If in America we lowered our ticket prices on Broadway, audiences could make up their own minds and wouldn’t have to rely on the New York Times as the critic to tell us what we think.
I think we have a big problem on Broadway right now where Wall Street has hijacked Broadway. They’re not in it for the love of the theater. I don’t know anybody that goes to Broadway or goes in to theater period to make money. It isn’t a money-making proposition.
There can only be one ‘Wicked’ a decade really but we have a lot of Wall St. fat cats who are money-laundering on Broadway and when they don’t get the reviews they want, they shut the play down. They’re not showmen so they don’t know how to run it or how to bring an audience in.
You have to have the ingenuity to get beyond the reviews if they’re bad. In the old days they would never let a critic tell them their show was a flop. They would find a way to outwit them.
Patti LuPone on BBC Radio 2 (via pickleofadilley)
YASS Queen Patti tell it!
When I was a kid, my parents would let me stay up as late as I wanted on the weekends. And I would stay up as late as I wanted watching movies. The only downside was that I had a tendency to fall asleep while watching these movies late at night. I would watch Star Wars and be down before the opening crawl had finished. I watched Old Yeller at least four times before I made it all the way through without falling asleep; it turns out that Yeller lives on through his offspring.
It’s a problem that has continued even as I have gotten older. I turn off the lights, crawl into bed, put on a movie, and the comfort of it all lulls me to sleep. And I don’t often get a chance to rewatch because I’m so busy, or I don’t want to make my boyfriend watch something again so immediately, or the movie is due at Redbox.
Since I haven’t seen enough of the 2013 releases to confidently make a typical top list, I thought I would compile a list of the movies I’ve fallen asleep during that I think deserve a second viewing.
10. Crystal Fairy
-Last Thing I Remember: Umm… everyone was in a car? I conked out early on this one, y’all.
-Reason for Rewatch: I mostly want to see this for Gaby Hoffman’s performance, which was nominated for an Independent Spirit award.
9. The To-Do List
-Last Thing I Remember: I remember her making the titular “to-do list” and then she becomes a lifeguard.
-Reason for Rewatch: This was a movie whose trailer I saw in the theater and immediately wanted to see it. A funny premise and a huge cast of faves (Aubrey Plaza! Connie Britton! Alia Shawkat! Bill Hader! A charming Rachel Bilson!).
-Last Thing I Remember: They go zip-lining over the Vegas Strip. Is that a real thing???
-Reason to Rewatch: This movie (what I saw of it) was pleasantly charming. I’ve been intrigued to see what Diablo Cody’s work is like post-United States of Tara (RIP), because it felt like she grew so much as a writer during it. Also, Octavia Spencer as a lounge singer! Holly Hunter and Nick Offerman (look out for both of them again on this list)! Even Julianne Hough came across as a competent and likeable screen presence. Usually she comes across to me as a beige-colored oatmeal in a beige-colored bowl.
-Last Thing I Remember: I remember a scene at a diner, which then went straight into an attempted rape? Which lead to a murder? But I also think I fell asleep before then and woke up again…. I know I managed to sleep through all of Jacki Weaver’s brief appearance.
-Reason for Rewatch: This movie was…. really weird. The kind of movie you need to pay attention to because it’s less about plot and more about character and mood. The kind of movie I LOVE but also need to stop watching when I’m tired. I’d love a rewatch because it looked wonderfully shot and styled. Plus Nicole Kidman! Also the aforementioned Jacki Weaver.
6. The Kings of Summer
-Last Thing I Remember: Well they built the house in the forest. Then a charming montage where they collected rainwater for drinking, I think.
-Reason for Rewatch: My boyfriend and I both found this movie really great while we were watching. The only difference is that he actually got to finish it, and I didn’t. The central trio of actors (unknown to me) were great, plus a supporting cast that includes Alison Brie, Megan Mullally, and Nick Offerman.
5. For the Boys
-Last Thing I Remember: Besides Bette Midler being amazing? Well, there was a Christmas dinner scene in a boardroom, and George Segal is dressed as Santa Claus and passive-aggressively handing out presents to everyone.
-Reason for Rewatch: Besides the aforementioned amazingness of Bette Midler? Well George Segal’s pretty great in it. But I’d say Bette is what matters most. Although that old age makeup they have her in during the present-day scenes is horrible. She looks like an extra from Nothing But Trouble! The Divine Miss M deserves better.
4. Broadcast News
-Last Thing I Remember: William Hurt was complaining to Holly Hunter about how no one takes him seriously because he’s pretty (#PrettyHurts).
-Reason for Rewatch: This movie has a such a great reputation as a comedy. And it was very funny! What I saw, that is. And the cast is great, especially the central trio. And above all, for me, is Holly Hunter. I really love her energy, her spunk. I want to see everything she’s in. Which brings us to…..
3. The Piano
-Last Thing I Remember: I don’t think they had even gotten the piano off the beach yet. I’m so terrible.
-Reason for Rewatch: I love Jane Campion (Top of the Lake y’all). It has Anna Paquin in a performance I don’t find insufferable (no, I haven’t seen Margaret yet. It’s on my list, but that’s another list for another day). And of course, Holly Hunter. I have a fascination with performance that have won Best Actress at Cannes, but I bet even if it had not won, I would still be intrigued to see Hunter in this role.
2. Beautiful Creatures
-Last Thing I Remember: The main guy showed up at Jane Campion’s daughter’s house, and Jeremy Irons freaks him out. Also one night I came home from a rehearsal, and my boyfriend was watching it, so I’ve actually seen the very end. (Whoops.)
-Reason for Rewatch: It feels like this movie was tailor-made for me. It’s a story about witchcraft that’s set in New Orleans, buzzwords for me even BEFORE American Horror Story: Coven. And the CAST: Emma Thompson, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum, and Margo Martindale apparently (once again, fell asleep before she appeared). I can’t wait to watch again.
1. Frances Ha
-Last Thing I Remember: Charlotte D’Amboise tells Frances that she won’t be in the Christmas shows.
-Reason for Rewatch: Guys I know.
I KNOW. I’m the worst.
This movie is on every single one of my friends’ “Top 10” lists, and I CAN’T BELIEVE I fell asleep during it. And apparently this movie ends on some huge visual punchline, and I don’t know because I FELL ASLEEP. I really loved what I saw, and I loved Greta Gerwig. Definitely at the top of my list of things to rewatch.
Honorable Mentions: Ghostbusters, Adventureland, Hook (I know, I know. My boyfriend is obsessed with Hook, but it is TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG. Why is a children’s movie that long? Also pre-Albert Nobbs Glenn Close in drag. I need to mental prepare myself again for that, and then have a lie-down immediately after the movie ends in order to process.)
All right then! I’m going to fire up Frances Ha on the ol’ Netflix. Happy new year, happy top ten lists, happy awards season, and happy Hunger Games!
Last night’s televised The Sound of Music Live! got great ratings, meaning there will (hopefully) be more to come! I’ve got a few ideas for the ol’ Peacock:
This is a bit of a deep cut, and the original cast was filmed for television, but I’d love to see a 21st century update. It has a number set in a gay bar! Think how great that would be now.
DREAM CASTING: Stockard Channing, Vanessa L. Williams as Margo; Patina Miller, Laura Benanti as Eve, Jessie Mueller in the Bonnie Franklin role, Norm Lewis as Bill Sampson
2. Fiddler on the Roof
I know: another musical set in a mountain village on the brink of an extremist regime. But more importantly, this is another classic musical that deserves to be discovered by a new audience. Timeless and perfect for the whole family!
DREAM CASTING: Mandy Patinkin as Tevye, Bette Midler (a replacement Tzeitel in the original production!) as Golde, Jessica Walter as Golde, Laura Benanti(I’m gonna try and put her in everything CAN YOU BLAME ME???) as Fruma Sarah, Cristin Milioti as Tzeitel, Jessie Mueller as Hodel
3. The Wiz
This would be AMAZING.
DREAM CASTING: Amber Riley as Dorothy; Stephanie Mills (the original Dorothy!) as Glinda; Patti LaBelle, Jennifer Holliday as Evilene, Janelle Monae as the Scarecrow; Billy Porter as the Tin Man; Norm Lewis as the Lion; Aretha Franklin as Addaperle
4. Anne Hathaway
This is just a general plea to cast Anne Hathaway, who clearly has the chops and the drive to pull off a live musical on TV (one would argue she’s been auditioning for it mfor years).
Suggestions on Twitter have included Cabaret and My Fair Lady. I’ll throw one in and suggest She Loves Me(where Anne would get to deliver the show-stopping “Vanilla Ice Cream”), another classic show looking to be rediscovered by a modern audience.
5. Bombshell: The Musical
COME ON, NBC. You have a musical crying out to be staged RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. You’ve even still got Meg Hilty under contract; how hard could this be??? Hit List is getting its own live concert. How about giving a full staging to the Tony award-winning smash of SMASH?
Anyway, just thought I’d throw these out into the universe. Who knows! Maybe one them will actually come true…..
Amid all the love for Hocus Pocus, Teen Witch, Worst Witch, and other such Halloween wonders from our respective childhoods, I thought I would list of some of my faves from when I was a kid that I hadn’t seen anyone talk about yet.
1. In the 90s, Disney put out a Halloween special that my mom taped, and I used to watch it constantly. It was mostly old Disney cartoons, but it also had a music video for ELO’s “Evil Woman” that was a montage of evil female Disney villains, starting of course with Snow White’s Evil Queen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng3-Ch6j5zU
And thus, a love of classic rock and fierce women was born.
2. HALLOWEEN IS GRINCH NIGHT
“It’s a wonderful night for EYEBROWS!” This (Emmy-winning!) television special from the 70s is a weird mishmash of Seussian whimsy with a random interlude of freaky creepiness thrown in the middle of a story that makes no sense. The Grinch sings a ragtime song? Sure. The Whovians call the outhouse the “euphemism”? You bet. Max the dog has the saddest internal monologue/song ever? Boy does he. And GO FIGS, the “Paraphernalia Wagon” sequence is STILL insane, a series of super creepy shapes and sounds fused together with little sense.
This film has a covered wagon full of spooks! Watch it on YouTube.
3. SCOOBY DOO AND THE BOO BROTHERS/GHOUL SCHOOL/RELUCTANT WEREWOLF
Y’all I love Scooby Doo, and my dad and I STILL love watching these movies. Yes, no one else in the original gang but Scooby or Shaggy show up. Yes, Scrappy Doo is a reviled figure in the cartoon world (with good reason). But these movies are still goofy fun. BOO BROTHERS has the gang visiting an old mansion in the Louisiana bayou that Shaggy has inherited (because obviously). It’s got spooks (including the title three as a bumbling, ghostly Three Stooges), yes, but also irascible hillbillies. Good times! GHOUL SCHOOL is like Scooby Doo meets The Facts of Life, but Mrs. Garrett and her girls are horror characters like the Mummy and Frankenstein’s monster. And RELUCTANT WEREWOLF involves Shaggy being turned into a werewolf by Dracula (okay), and the only way he’ll be changed back is if he wins the spooky monster version of Hanna Barbara’s Wacky Races.
These films are all on YouTube for your enjoyment, so enjoy them!
Guys the 90s film version of CASPER is the best. Christina Ricci! Bill Pullman! Eric Idle! CATHY MORIARTY in the middle of her “Villainess Trilogy”(between SOAPDISH and BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER)! Devon Sawa at his dreamiest! Amy Brenneman as “Ghost Mom”! I don’t even know what else to say. My sister and I had this on VHS and watched it constantly. It’s great.
I was gonna put HALLOWEENTOWN here, but then I remembered that the last I watched it, I realized that it’s not a very good movie. To be fair, I was also high in pot brownies, but THAT IS NOT THE POINT. It’s fun (as any movie featuring Debbie Reynolds as a witch AND a school bus that takes you from our world to Halloweentown would be), but it’s not that good.
PARANORMAN, however, is ADORABLE, and I want everyone to see it. I absolutely love it. It has it ALL! The voice cast includes John Goodman, Elaine Stritch, AND Tempestt Bledsoe. The ending is legitimately frightening and has a Salem-adjacent twist! The beginning includes an off-pitch rendition of “Season of the Witch” performed by schoolchildren that is adorably hilarious.
It’s streaming on Netflix; go now!
Well that’s all I got. Happy Halloween! Oh and for more adult fare, watch THE HUNGER. Catherine Deneuve as a centuries-old vampire, David Bowie as her current vampire lover, and Susan Sarandon as a scientist styled like an extra from GREASE. Lesbian 80s vampire realness AHOY!
Yesterday morning my friend Joe tweeted that he rode all night on an Amtrak and was wondering what land had he awoken in? He then tweeted references to both Joan Osbourne and Natalie Merchant, and it was clear to me exactly where Joe had woken up: the 1990s! Ah the 90s. Remember them? Gak! Pogs! Lori Beth Denberg!
Hey Joe, while you’re in the 90s, can you grab a me a few things? I made a list.
1. Economic stability. That was the 90s, right?
2. NBC Must-See TV Thursday. Bring them all back! Even JESSIE and STARK RAVING MAD (guys I loved JESSIE and STARK RAVING MAD).
3. MTV’s UNDRESSED, the teen/young adult soap opera that spawned my first sexual attractions. It was good fun!
4. The Disney WonderBall, but the original one that was a plastic ball covered in chocolate, and the plastic ball had a plastic toy in it. I miss candy with a degree of hazard involved.
5. Don Bluth animated films. We can call it: We’re Back! An Animator’s Story.
6. Dunkaroos. Because obviously.
7. En Vogue. Because I miss them! I mean, I know they still exist, but bring them back to the CHARTS.
8. And finally, bring back all the Supporting Actress awards of 1997-98. Bring them all back and give them to their rightful owner: Julianne Moore, for BOOGIE NIGHTS.
I think that’s it, Joe. If I think of anything else, I’ll page you, and you can call me collect (ten cents a minute according to Murphy Brown!)
Jane Krakowski (as Usnavi) performs “In the Heights” from In The Heights with members of the Original Broadway Cast at MCC Theater’s Miscast - 3.4.13
YAAAASS TUHRAHTID. YAAASS JANE! RAAAAARRSECLAAAAART!!!!!
Fifty Percent | Dorothy Collins
Sweet Dorothy Loudon this is good.